The best Christmas action movies that aren’t Die Hard

Jackie Chan as police inspector Chan Ka-Kui holds a revolver as he peers around a corner in Police StoryImage: The Criterion Collection

The holidays are a time of tradition, of engaging in yearly rituals with family and friends in an attempt to fill yourself with the good feelings of the season. This takes a lot of different forms — putting up festive decorations, caroling, shared dinners with rarely seen loved ones. It can be something extravagant or as simple as a rewatch of a favorite film saved all year just for the occasion.

One movie that has achieved this yearly reverence is the groundbreaking 1988 action classic Die Hard. This special distinction has not come without controversy. A vocal contingent adamantly decry its placement among other, more traditional and revered holiday films. They believe the story of NYPD Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) saving the occupants of Nakatomi Plaza from Euro-trash thieves on Christmas Eve is just not suitable holiday fare. The film’s equally vocal defenders argue the copious amounts of references to the holiday contained in the film are more than enough for it to be considered a classic of the season.

This difference of opinion has led to another yearly tradition — a heated debate over whether Die Hard is a “Christmas movie” or not. It’s an argument that has raged for years, with no signs of slowing down or finding common ground. It has become a tedious talking point for some and has left even hardcore action-movie fanatics dreading hearing the words “Die Hard” and “Christmas” together. For those people who need a break from the discourse but still want to enjoy a little seasonal cinematic ass-kicking, we have curated a list of 10 action-packed films with connections to the holidays (both big and small) that are available to watch from the comfort of your couch. Who knows — one of these entries could become the next subject of never-ending debate or, more importantly, a new yearly favorite.


BATMAN RETURNS

Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) and The Penguin (Danny DeVito) in Batman Returns were two reasons why critics felt the movie was inappropriate for kidsImage: Warner Bros. Entertainment

When Warner Bros. tasked Tim Burton with crafting a follow-up to the wildly popular 1989 film Batman, they basically asked the idiosyncratic filmmaker to capture lightning in a bottle for a second time. He took on the impossible job of re-creating the massive success of that film (and the blank check given to him by the studio to do so) and instead produced a film that doubles down on all the bizarre and fetishistic elements of the original. This defiant choice by Burton resulted in 1992’s Batman Returns being the strangest live-action film adaptation of the popular comic book hero to date. The surreal feeling that permeates this dark and moody sequel is only heightened by the fact that the entire story takes place around the holidays. The early-era horror film aesthetics and the gothic, meticulously constructed sets awash in wintery white give the feeling of watching stars Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Danny DeVito square off in the world’s gloomiest snow globe.

At the time, summer moviegoing audiences were dumbfounded by the macabre Christmas vibes on display and the tale of costumed weirdos that battled more with their own repressed identities than they did with each other. With the benefit of time and perspective, Batman Returns has solidly claimed a place among the upper echelon of Batman media for its fresh, nuanced take on timeless characters and stunning visuals. It also makes great holiday viewing for anyone who feels burnt out on the cheer of the season.

Batman Returns is available to watch on HBO Max.

COBRA

Sylvester Stallone, wearing sunglasses, cuts a slice of pizza with a pair of scissors in Cobra.Image: Warner Bros.

The use of a Christmastime setting in a movie is not always meant to inspire good feelings. Sometimes the holiday backdrop is meant for irony and contrast. 1986’s Cobra, for example, has colorful wreaths and Santa cutouts in several of its scenes. These festive decorations are out-of-place bits of cheerfulness dressing up the unwelcoming atmosphere of the dingy storefronts and rain-slicked streets that litter this story of a hard-nosed cop, Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone), clashing with a deranged serial killer and his cult of equally violent followers.

While it was considered a failure at the time of its release, Cobra has aged well as a prime example of Reagan-era action movie excess — a time when the heroes on screen were defined by the size of their muscles and the guns they carried. It’s unapologetically violent and more than a little trashy. But with its short run time and unwillingness to go more than a few minutes without something outrageous happening, whether it be a wild car chase or Stallone bizarrely eating a slice of pizza with a pair of scissors, Cobra consistently entertains.

Cobra is available to to watch via rental or digital purchase on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu.

DARK ANGEL

Dolph Lundgren looks very handsome in Dark Angel, wearing a brown coat and smiling slightly.Image: Vision PDG

Dark Angel is, in many ways, a standard example of the sort of action movie that was so prevalent in the late 1980s. A loose-cannon police officer (Dolph Lundgren), obsessed with his job and in a failing relationship, is saddled with a by-the-book federal agent in a quest to bring down the ruthless crime lord who murdered his previous partner. What sets the film apart from the glut of other “mismatched partners” films of the era is the heavy dose of sci-fi dropped into the familiar “renegade cop” story structure. The film’s real antagonist is surprisingly outlandish — an intergalactic criminal who has come to Earth to forcibly harvest drug-soaked human brain fluid to peddle to space junkies.

Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace) is a rock-solid genre mashup with all the irony-free, square-jaw hero moments, over-the-top one-liners (“And you go in pieces, asshole”), and thrilling practical stunt work that isn’t seen much anymore in modern-day action filmmaking. All that plus a holiday setting (burning Christmas tree lots, gratuitous shots of It’s a Wonderful Life playing on television, and holiday decorations visible throughout) adds up to a seasonal choice perfect for any genre fan who counts films like Predator and They Live among their favorites.

Dark Angel is available to watch for free with ads on Tubi.

DEADLY GAMES

A young boy, viewed from behind, ties a bandana around his long hair. He is loaded up with toy weapons in Deadly Games.Image: Deal

A young boy left alone is forced to protect himself from an intruder on Christmas Eve using only makeshift weapons and traps. The makers of Home Alone took that concept and built a successful family film franchise around it. But they were not the first to use it. In fact, there is a case to be made they borrowed that core idea from this much darker French-language film released the year prior.

It’s only fitting that Deadly Games (aka Game Over and 3615 code Père Noël) would inspire other filmmakers, as some of its iconography is an obvious homage to Rambo: First Blood Part II and Commando. The young protagonist of Deadly Games loves action films and regularly plays in his family’s massive home by imitating American action stars, sneaking from house plant to house plant with his hair secured with a hand-tied headband, brandishing toy weapons, and wearing jungle-stripe face paint. When the house is broken into by a deranged knife-wielding man disguised as Santa, the boy decides to suit up (in a montage that would make Schwarzenegger proud) and defend his home by playing an all-too-real version of his favorite war game.

With its truly unnerving antagonist and sudden bursts of bloody violence against children and animals, Deadly Games is definitely not a film for the whole family. Anyone who enjoys cynical Christmas fare, though, will likely find a lot to love in this obscure cinematic oddity.

Deadly Games is available to watch on Shudder.

INVASION USA

Chuck Norris wears a ton of denim while dual-wielding Uzis in Invasion U.S.AImage: Cannon Films

Invasion USA is one of the only entries in Chuck Norris’ filmography that truly understands the current appeal of the former world karate champion. This 1980s “Red Scare” cult classic finds Russian terrorists invading the southern Florida coast (during the days leading up to Christmas) and, of course, only the ginger-haired living internet meme himself can thwart their nefarious plot.

Since there is never any doubt that he will save the day, the film rarely tries to build any tension or set any stakes. Instead, it goes all in on mythicizing its stone-faced leading man and mining that for all the over-the-top entertainment it possibly can. Norris is portrayed as nothing short of a boogeyman for bad guys, a stoic denim-clad Jason Voorhees that appears out of nowhere and ruthlessly decimates machine-gun-brandishing goons. One of the villains who survives an early encounter with him even grapples with nightmare-inducing PTSD like a teen survivor in a slasher movie. There are too many preposterous, but entertaining, moments to mention them all, but a few highlights include: a military assault on a suburban neighborhood that’s in the midst of decorating for the holidays; a bazooka standoff framed like a Wild West gunslinger duel; and Norris himself wrangling a live alligator! It’s great fun for anyone who still gets a chuckle from the occasional Chuck Norris fact.

Invasion USA is available to watch for free with ads on Tubi, Roku, and Pluto TV, or for free with a library card on Hoopla.

Previous Post Next Post